Piercing Bump Remedy

I wanted to throw this out there, as I know it's a common problem many piercing enthusiasts have at some point.

First, context: I have 18 piercings; my 17th was a Medusa (center of the upper lip) done a year and a half ago. I normally change the top of my jewelry every few days (sometimes every day) to match my outfit or my mood. I had a larger top on for over a week (I guess I got busy and forgot to change it) when I noticed my piercing getting itchy and bothersome. When I got home from work and inspected my Medusa, I was horrified to find a large bump, fleshy colored and raised, surrounding my piercing—the first and only one I've ever had. There was no bleeding, no puss, no crusties, no pain, no lymph—just an ugly bump in the middle of my face.

I immediately took to almighty Google for remedies but only found the usual tea tree oil, saline soaks, and other old wives’ tales that, as an experienced perforated person, I knew were all bullshit. I searched through my bathroom for possible remedies and after reading a dozen ingredients labels, finally found something that had potential.

Now, a quick disclaimer: I used this on a facial piercing only, so I cannot speak to its effectiveness on other areas of the body. However, this product is intended for use on irritated skin (not mucous membranes) on the face and body and is safe and effective. My skin is very temperamental and I'm allergic to a myriad of ingredients, but I've never had issues with this product. I also changed my jewelry to a more basic, easier-to-clean style and one that was made of a higher-quality metal. The bump will never go away if your piercing is still irritated by bad jewelry! My piercing is also over a year old, so I do not recommend this for brand-new piercings that are still healing.

I can hear you screaming, "Bitch, get to the point!" from here. So, without further ado... The product I used to cure my ugly piercing bump was… (drumroll please) …Mario Badescu Drying Lotion.

If you look at the ingredients, it makes perfect sense: isopropyl alcohol disinfects and kills cooties; calamine, zinc oxide, and camphor are anti-itch and reduce inflammation; sulfur and salicylic acid are antimicrobial and are keratolytic (breaks down the protein that binds skin together, reducing the thickness of excess skin—which is what a piercing bump is); and glycerin is moisturizing. Mario Badescu Drying Lotion has won numerous awards, has been around since the '60s, and can be found at Ulta, Sephora, and Amazon. It costs about $17 USD.

To use: DO NOT shake the bottle. The ingredients need to be separated, so let the bottle sit on the counter for 30 minutes or so to let everything settle to the bottom. Gently wash the area with mild soap and water and pat dry. Change the jewelry if you haven't already done so. Take a cotton bud (Q-tip) and dip it into the bottle until the cotton sinks into the pink sediment at the bottom. Slowly remove the cotton bud from the bottle (you should now have a pink cotton bud... how charming?). WITH YOUR JEWELRY STILL IN, cover the bump with the drying lotion. Allow to dry for an hour, two AT MOST. Rinse off with cool water, pat dry, then leave the fucker alone. I repeat: LEAVE IT ALONE! No twirling, no fidgeting, no squeezing, no poking. Just keep it clean. Do this once a day until the bump is gone. Overdoing it will make the skin around your piercing dry and flaky, so be gentle. Mine was completely gone in four days and hasn't returned since.

I hope this helps your cranky holes.

Happy piercing!