Fancy Eyeballs
I got LASIK done back in 2012, and it was the best decision I ever made for myself. I still have 20/20 vision, and the freedom from thick glasses and dry, finicky contacts has been priceless. I couldn't see the big "E" at the top of the eye chart and had astigmatism in my left eye, so being able to go without glasses or contacts has been life-changing (and saved me thousands of dollars).
My only two gripes are that: 1. My doctor severely downplayed the discomfort during the procedure (which lasted less than 10 minutes) and immediately after it was done, and 2. They gave me the Ativan in the office right before the procedure, so it didn't kick in until after I got home, and I would have benefitted from its effects during the procedure.
Storytime incoming...
The reason for the discomfort is that the doctor suctions your eye up slightly out of the socket, and there's an unnerving feeling of extreme pressure that I've never felt before or since (kind of like pushing on your eyes but in reverse). The pressure sensation only lasts a minute or two, but I was entirely unprepared for it, which REALLY freaked me out. After suctioning your eye, they cut the little flap into your cornea, you stare into a red dot which becomes a red blurry mess once they flip your flap, zappy zappy zappy, put the flap back and the process repeats on the other eye. Your eyes are numb for this, so you don't feel them cutting the flaps or the laser zaps; however, similar to getting numb to have your teeth worked on, you can still feel the sensation of pressure, which is wildly uncomfy and scary if you're not anticipating it. The anti-anxiety meds would have been lovely to have actively working during the procedure, so I didn't panic after experiencing the pressure on my eye sockets. I did have a nice doctor's assistant pat my arm who had a soothing voice, so I made it out only slightly traumatized.
After both eyes were done, they put goofy goggles and sunglasses on you and tuck you into your driver's car. After about 20-30 minutes, that's when the burning sensation starts. I honestly felt like my eyeballs were on fire. I wanted so badly to cry, but I was terrified my little flaps would fly open, and I'd go blind (hyperventilating), and my (now ex) husband just put me to bed and left me alone, and what the fuck did I just do?!....
And then the Ativan knocks you the eff out. You take a lovely little eight-hour nappy nap, wake up pain-free, take off your silly goggles, and look at the world with brand-new eyeballs. I could see individual blades of grass, see myself clearly in the mirror, and tell what time it was from across the room. I was still very sensitive to bright lights, but I (no joke) went to a professional baseball game that same evening (wearing sunglasses, but still). I had dry eyes and light sensitivity for about a year after the surgery. My doctor prescribed me some fancy eyedrops, and I bought myself a fabulous pair of Maui Jim’s, so neither symptom really put a cramp in my style.
Knowing what I know now, would I still have done it? 100% absolutely yes, and I'd do it again. Having an hour of serious discomfort for over a decade of clear vision was well worth it. My doctor was a jackass for not preparing me for the realities of the surgical process, but I hope this post will better prepare you if you decide to go through with it. Getting laser eye surgery is at the top of my list for "best things I've ever done for myself," followed by: divorcing my husband, buying my subwoofer, laser hair removal, and getting my dental hygiene license (in that order). I have no regrets.
Good luck!
